Perfectionist Archetypes

I received a text from a therapist friend, Sara Milam that said, “Have you read this one? I’ve never felt so validated as a type A, tightly wound person.” Color me intrigued, so I read The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power by Katherine Morgan Schafler. Usually I’m not that into reading about perfectionism because I haven’t learned anything new since my teenage years, but Schafler has an interesting take. She has five archetypes of a perfectionist—classic, intense, Parisian, messy and procrastinator—which all have their own unique challenges. Here is the quiz. FWIW, I’m 43% classic perfectionist, 43% intense perfectionist and 14% Parisian perfectionist.

One of the core themes of the book is the illusion of control that perfectionists cling to. Schafler illustrates how the pursuit of perfection is often a coping mechanism for a lack of control in other areas of life. This theme is something I encounter frequently in therapy sessions. Clients who feel out of control in their personal lives, careers, or relationships often overcompensate by trying to perfect their appearance, their work, or even their thoughts.

Schafler’s insights provide a valuable framework for helping clients understand this dynamic. By recognizing that control is often an illusion, perfectionists can begin to loosen their grip and allow themselves to experience the messiness of life—a necessary step toward true growth and fulfillment.

I love all the positive attributes she lists for each type of perfectionist and how each type can find balance. I’d highly recommend this book to clients.