Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

I love that my clients might read this book. Gottlieb details what goes on in a therapist’s mind and life in this funny and charming memoir. No matter if you’re doing CBT, EMDR, sex therapy or SFT, the foundation of therapy is the relationship between the client(s) and the therapist. No one can be my substitute therapist if I’m sick—the relationship creates the safety to do hard work. A relationship goes both ways, so my relationship with you also impacts me. When we terminate therapy, I sometimes think of clients years later wondering how they are doing. It’s also a very different relationship than one you’d have with friends or family—I know way more about you than you do about me. That power imbalance is my responsibility. I can never talk to anyone about your situation (except in de-identified spaces with a consult group as Gottlieb does). Social workers were HIPAA-compliant before HIPAA even existed. It is a real honor to hold that space with you on a regular basis.

Therapists have our own problems and therefore our own therapists. When I’m having a hard time in my personal life, I find that I am a more empathic clinician and I can sometimes take work home with me or into my own therapy appointment. I work hard to keep the boundary clear, so when I notice I’m slipping, I need to do some serious self-care—what I preach to you all the time. I hope you’ll read this book and laugh as much as I did. I hope it humanizes me and other mental health care providers you’ve seen.